Today is one of those rare days that I caught a break at work. My workload was light, I was able to accomplish my goals quickly and efficiently and I even had enough time to contact some of my besties for a coffee date before the kids were done school. The moment I walked into the Mommy’s group, my heart lifted. I was home. I was surround by people who understood that mystery stain on my shirt and didn’t judge me, the ones who would listen to my stories and relate and ones who needed me as much as I need them. We maybe from all walks of life; some with babies, some with teens, some working moms, some stay at home, but regardless we all had one thing in common: MOTHERHOOD
When you see ads on TV or in magazine they make motherhood look so glorious. A beautiful baby, a smiling mom and usually she is dressed in angelic white (ya right!). What they don’t tell you is parenting is not all sweet baby powder smells and adorable baby smiles. Its HARD WORK! Even if we were warned by well meaning friends and relatives, I don’t think you can truly understand the struggles of motherhood until you live it yourself. The truth is until you have been sleep deprived, nuked your coffee for the tenth time or forgotten the last time you showered, that you will truly understand motherhood.
It is this reason that I believe all Mommies need a Mommy group. Mommy groups are a support network for moms. They are a group of people who are or have experienced similar situations and can relate to what you are going through. I remember the first time I was invited to a Mom’s group. I was tired, worried about missing nap time and struggling to find a clean shirt. I was ready to throw in the towel and call it a day, but something inside of me told me to go. I showed up a bunch of nerves and listened to another mom begin to tell a story about how her child was still not sleeping through the night. A chorus of “me too” and “I understand” went around the group and we all began offering support and advice.
As much as a Mommy group is an opportunity for children to mingle with other kids and again valuable social skills, it is also for the Mom’s mental health. For many of us, motherhood is a mesh of overwhelming tasks, sleepless nights and a side of mood or anxiety disorder. This leaves us raw and sensitive to stressful situation. Fears of failure, inadequacy and lack of knowledge leaves us feeling alone. A Mommy group provides you an opportunity to see that you are not alone and that others are going through similar trials and tribulations as you. Sharing this experiences and learning from one another will not only relax your mind and body, but soothe your soul.
Here are some tips from Mommy’s who have been there, done that:
Embrace the fact that your schedule may change on a moment’s notice, and understand that the moment is bigger than the schedule. – Julia (Ask Mama Moe)
Take Pictures!! You will forget what there little wrist, neck, cheek ears, fingers and toes look like – Becca
Don’t read books! They will drive you crazy and tell you what you and your child should be doing. Don’t read them. Trust your gut. That’s all you need to do! – Renee (My So called Mommy Life)
Don’t hold to tight to your idea of what your kids she be, do and how they should get there. They’re going to have their own ideas, and map to get there and if you don’t learn to let them you will be very disappointed. Also you are going to turn into your mother … and when it happens you’ll be surprised lol. – Cathy (Cathy Thinking Outloud)
When you are feeling overwhelmed, note that they grow so fast it will only be but a moment. Try to focus on cherishing the good and bad – Rebecca
Always let your babies spend as much time with grandparents as humanly possible. Grandparents are a blessing. They raised you. They won’t break your child and their time is finite. You will miss them when they are gone. We miss ours more than we can put to words. – Paula (