Its funny how simple comments can draw out the most uncomfortable conversations.
A few months ago, I was driving to an event with my three children in the backseat. A song came on the radio that I loved and I nostalgically said aloud to my DD2 “This is the song you were born to!” (Give Me Everything (Tonight) by Pitball featuring Ne-Yo). Little did I know that this happy memory would open a whole can of worms!
My DS7 happily piped up from the backseat, “That’s cool Mommy! What song was playing when I was born?”
You see, DD2 was born via an emergency c-section in an operating room where as my boys were both natural births in private birthing rooms.
Not wanting to get in the whole “Angry Birds and Killer Bees” story, I quickly said that they were born naturally and their sister was born by a surgery. There was a sudden silence and I prayed that the conversations was over. After pondering what I said for a few minutes, DS7 piped up “What doesn’t that mean? How did we come out of your belly if not from your scar?”. My heart dropped. I didn’t want to get in the logisitics of how a baby is born with a 5 and 7 year old, but I wasn’t about to lie to them either. I explained to that a baby comes out their Mommy’s vagina and that this is fine to ask Mommy and Daddy questions about stuff like this but they shouldn’t really talk about it in public. After a stunned silence, I was told “That’s gross but kinda of cool”.
I was NOT ready for this discussion. I never thought that it would come up at such a young age. To prepare myself for future questions, I leap at the opportunity to read Angry Birds and Killers Bees: Talking to your Kids about Sex by Todd Bowman.
Angry Birds and Killer Bees: Talking to your kids about sex by Todd Bowman
“”Mom, Dad what is sex?”Angry Birds and Killer Bees is a book that can help you turn “The Talk” into an ongoing conversation that counters the myriad sources of bad information children are exposed to on a daily basis and helps them understand the beauty of true intimacy.
The three main sections “Sex: Myths and Messages,” “Sex and Biology,” and “Sex and God,” you’ll find information to help you talk with your children about sex, puberty, and the biological, emotional and spiritual levels of relationships. You’ll be able to help them:
Navigate the social influences of their peers and the culture we live in.
Understand the deep bonds that come from a healthy sexual relationship.
View sex as a beautiful, God-given gift that is designed to enhance our emotional and spiritual lives.
This book was amazing. It was a quick, easy read at only 135 pages, but the information it provides is invaluable. It offers you ideas on how to approach, enlighten and encourage an ongoing conversation that will help your kids talk about sex, what the human body experiences and the emotional aspect of intimacy. Dr. Bowman teaches you the importance of parenting emotionally healthy children through guidance, understanding and education. What I liked most about this book is that it didn’t just focus on the physiological aspect of sex and the effects that it has on the body (you can get that in any book), instead it takes a more spiritual and emotional look at sex and how it will effect your child during puberty, during sex and afterwards. Using spiritual principles of self respect, waiting till marriage and how to deal with social pressures, the book provides you with useful tools to help your child understand spiritual side of sexuality. It “teaches you when and how to talk to you children about sex in away that will help them grow in to emotionally and sexually healthy adults.”
Although I hope I will not be having the discussion about sexuality with my children anytime soon, I do feel like have a better grasp with how to handle the situation thanks to Dr. Bowman’s book.
Disclosure: I am part of the Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City’s Blogger Review Team and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.